Keeping The Love Going
Valentine’s Day, in all its red, pink and heart-shaped glory, has come and gone. I know the dust has barely settled, and stores have fully made the thematic shift to bunnies, chocolate eggs and all things pastel, but I’m not quite ready to move on from love. While V-Day can zero in on romance and passion, I’d like us to consider the kind-hearted, generous, caring and concerned side of love. Although maybe not as intoxicating as the rom-com stuff, this second kind of love has a reverberating power to it, a steady strength that can empower people and change the course of communities.
I bring this up, because I recently rewatched the documentary Paper Tigers with a bunch of teacher candidates from the Queens’ University Faculty of Education. For those unfamiliar, the film is set in Lincoln High School, an alternative secondary school in Walla Walla, Washington. The film opens with scenes of chaos and violence - students fighting with each other, in conflict with staff, and traditional depictions of school discipline not going well. The rest of the film, through the stories of the principal, teachers and a several key students, unpacks Lincoln’s journey to support students with a more trauma-sensitive approach. It’s an inspiring view.
What struck me during this rewatch was love. The word itself seemed to be everywhere in that school, and the more I looked for it the more I saw it, heard it and felt it. Love was printed on posters, graffitied on walls, written on white boards, and typed into texts. Staff said they loved students and students wrote that they loved the staff. Kindness permeated the policies, procedures and actions of teachers, administrators, and the medical professions at the onsite clinic. Mutual human connection is woven into the fabric of the place. Love in action.
One student spelled it out for me. I’m paraphrasing here, but he said he couldn’t quite put his finger on when things started to change for him – when he started to open up and embrace the school and the community – but he was certain it was because of the kindness of the staff. He came to the school so incredibly fearful and stuck inside himself. He left the school a central figure in the graduating community, interactive in a way that almost made him unrecognizable, and headed towards visions and dreams of his own making.
Could love be the thing that changed this young person’s trajectory?
Since my first viewing years ago, Paper Tiger's has prompted me to engage more warmly with the people I serve and work alongside. I’ve been more intentional to express my care and deep regard for the youth I serve and to follow that up with consistent, gentle kindness. Yes, I deliver service according to the policies and procedures of my organization – and – I take every opportunity to deliver it with simple, human kindness and personal connection. I am increasingly convinced that the way I do my work may be the most meaningful work I do.
If all this love stuff is not something you’re comfortable with, it might be helpful to remember we are all born for it, our biology craves it. We know our earliest development is optimal when we are in caring, nurturing and consistent environments. Experts say that relationships with caring adults is the most important protective factor for youth. There’s some science behind the love that’s worth looking into.
So take some time to think about it. Can love infiltrate your work? How can you add more human connection and kind-heartedness to the duties in your job description? Are there ways you can express care for those in your occupational world – in your words and your actions?
Happy Belated Valentine’s Day from Teach Resilience.
Garry Castle
P.S. We’d love (that word again) to screen Paper Tiger’s for you... or just have a coffee and chat all about it. Please reach out!